Relationships are beautiful. It’s nice to be appreciated, loved and cared for. “Time is a revealer” as they say, isn’t it? Truths and struggles are boxes of surprises wrapped in relationships and marriages that can only be discovered with time.
Let’s start with struggles.
- Energy imbalance: Marriage/relationships become hard when energy levels are not balanced. It can be frustrating when one partner puts in all efforts towards making a relationship/marriage work while the other cannot be bothered. If it continues over time, the energetic partner could experience frustration, mental stress, emotional exhaustion, bitterness and resentment. Energy levels should balance each other to reduce the struggles couples encounter.
- Not speaking out: The role of communication in relationships can be likened to the foundation upon which a house is built. Poor communication produces ripple effects that could lead to divorce or broken relationships if not properly addressed. Couples should communicate their desires, needs and wants to each other as clearly as possible without being defensive, controlling, manipulative or even domineering. It is wrong to make assumptions on how a partner is expected to behave and judge them for not thinking in that direction. What you want or desire should be stated or requested as clearly as possible. Communicate – no one can read your mind!
- Disagreements: Being a Christian, one of my favourite scriptures on marriage/relationships is Amos 3:3, which says “Can two walk together, except they agree?” This not only stems from communication but also leads to a strong level of commitment. There is a special kind of bond and aura created when two people genuinely decide to do something or achieve something and make a commitment towards making it happen. The power of agreement truly is the power of a couple – agreement to stay through the rough times; agreement to see each other become the best version of themselves; and agreement in seeing through their goals, thoughts and ambitions. Such will not only keep a couple together and stronger, it is also their POWER. A couple that can’t agree on important things is a couple waiting to be divorced or separated.
*All posts on Naomi’s Parlour are edited by Ife Agboola